If you can’t convince them, confuse them.Harry S TrumanAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Funny Politics and Funny Politicians Quotes and Sayings
Short selections recovered from GADEL’s original collection. Wording is kept as found; the archived attribution is not a verification of authorship.
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.PlatoAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.AnonymousTraditional attribution
Politics, n: Poly “many” + tics “blood-sucking parasitesLarry HardimanAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.Nikita KhrushchevAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.Author UnknownTraditional attribution
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.Earnest BennAttributed in the original GADEL collection
The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.Maureen MurphyAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Any 20 year-old who isn’t a liberal doesn’t have a heart, and any 40 year-old who isn’t a conservative doesn’t have a brain.AnonymousTraditional attribution
Politics is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant.Henri QueuilleAttributed in the original GADEL collection
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.AnonymousTraditional attribution
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.Clarence DarrowAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.AnonymousTraditional attribution
I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.Adlai StevensonAttributed in the original GADEL collection
In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t work very well.Len DeightonAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.Robert ByrneAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say “elevator”, we say “lift”… they say “President”, we say “stupid psychopathic git.Alexai SayleAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Naturally the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany.Hermann GoeringAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.John QuintonAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.Richard ArmourAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.Doug LarsonAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Don’t vote, it only encourages them.AnonymousTraditional attribution
The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning.Adlai E. StevensonAttributed in the original GADEL collection
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?Author UnknownTraditional attribution
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.Charles de GaulleAttributed in the original GADEL collection
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.Texas GuinanAttributed in the original GADEL collection
Original collection & source
Original title: Funny Politics and Funny Politicians Quotes and Sayings
Open the Wayback source in a new tab ↗Only short selections are republished here. The archived original may include longer passages and unverified attributions.
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